Friday, December 14, 2012


even when you're not watching TV
the news gets through to you
and today it is the worst kind of news
it makes you feel sick and your blood runs cold

but your first reactions are getting dull and routine
in this country we hear of shootings all the time
just a couple of days ago there was a shooting at a mall on the West Coast
( I still don't know what happened there
 because I didn't watch or read anything...
like so many other things I don't read or watch)

you listen to the story on the news in the evening
you shed a tear
and then you go on...
another shooting in America

that is exactly what happened today
I was finishing something that I had to do for number two son
which was frustrating because the phone company I was trying to deal with
doesn't show the number you're supposed to call to deal with them
you have to go looking for a number
I found one and did what I had to do...
then I did something else and another thing or three
and when I sat down at my computer and logged on
 the news showed up and said
school shooting in CT...

I told husband,  like I tell him it's going to rain...
then I read a little more and went to the TV
CNN was still gathering info and MS NBC was talking about guns and who should have them

in my opinion NO ONE....

I don't do Fox!!

I went back to what I was doing and a little later walked back  through the room
and saw
26 dead
18 children
 and 8 adults

gone just like that

18 little ones won't see Christmas ever again
Christmas will never be the same again for the parents or the children in the school or the teachers
 or the town

the policemen looked shattered
big huge men with big huge guns
crying in the parking lot 
of the school 
that this morning opened up and welcomed the kids
and planned on a day at school...
a few days before Christmas means they must have had parties to plan or gifts to make
secrets to keep
plans for the break that will come so soon
but now
nothing matters

except trying to explain to the little ones who made it out of 'Hell' that it won't happen again
and that the others have gone to'Heaven' to be with the 'angles'
and yes 'Santa' will still come

nothing matters 
but explaining to the parents 
why ...

we don't know who did this
we will soon
and his/her name will go down with all the other monsters who have done this so many times 
one worse than the one before

but this one
this one is one that should change everything
18 children died today
at the hands of a mad man
with a gun
don't care if he was as mad as a hatter
or ex-anything
or if he had lost his house and his car and his job
he did something you just don't do
you don't kill kids
you just don't...

 'we' do it
or the governments do it in our names in other countries and we call it 'war'
 we don't cry or yell about it
well, not very loudly we don't
and when it happens to OUR kids
it's the same thing
hours of mulling it over on TV
lots and lots and lots of talking
half on one side.... half on the other side
of gun control etc.
finding out every little detail of the monster
and then
it will go away
and the children will learn to live with it and the parents will cry themselves to sleep ( when it comes) for evermore
and no one will be able to tell anybody

other than 
he could

because sane men and  mad men can buy guns
 and use them on a Friday morning at will
and end 26 lives 
just like that...26 people gone
I feel sick
 but more than that
sad, so sad
because nothing will change

poor babies...all of them.